"Spring is sprung...

...the grass is riz,
I wonder where
the birdies iz."

Today is not a good day. 

It's not that there's anything particularly wrong with my life (other than the usual), it's just that something is off. Overall, my life is actually pretty darn good. I can recognize that from outside, but inside I'm anxious for no reason, and I just want to sit in a corner and cry. 

I've been exchanging amusing texts with friends all morning, and I've been doing small household chores because when I think about doing the big ones I just stand there, staring at the last thing my eyes were pointed at.

I got to hang out with Dylan yesterday, which was great. Jet even surprised me by mowing random stripes in the back yard with the push mower we found in the garden shed.

But since I woke up this morning, there's this overwhelming feeling of dread that maybe 18 hours of sleep will solve, and maybe not. I can't do anything I really need to because I can't concentrate enough to get my brain out of the swamp. I can't do anything fun, because I won't take any enjoyment in it. I suppose at least it wouldn't frustrate me--I'd just be meh about it. "Fun" wouldn't even be a distraction, just a reminder that today is not a good day.

So yeah. Don't feel sorry for me. There's plenty of other people who feel this way more often and way worse than me. I'm not trolling for platitudes or pity, because they won't do anything for me. I guess I wanted to get this out there and say that sometimes there's no reason for the way you feel. Sometimes you just feel. I know it. You know it. It's just easy to lose track of sometimes.

My mom would always say that dumb little poem every year when we were finally out of the cold. Spring is sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder where the birdies iz. I Googled it to give you guys some context, and nobody seems to know where it came from. I did find out there's more to it than I knew--the rest of the poem goes, "They say the birds is on the wing, ain't that absurd? I always thought the wing is on the bird." 

Most of the time, finding out this new part would completely tickle me. Like my world expanded a little, and my childhood got retroactively richer. Today, though, it's just empty words. Tomorrow I'll (hopefully) be back in the right mindset to be thrilled about this discovery.

If not, I'll keep waiting.