Wednesday, December 9, 2015

The "new" washing machine

Doing laundry today. Yup--the glamorous life. It's been a while since anything really weird's happened. The last one was a couple weeks ago when that guy (or maybe "guy" in quotes) followed me and Jet to Giant Eagle.

It's annoying doing laundry with gloves on, but you know. Such is life. I loaded the washing machine, added detergent, all that good stuff, and walked away. I remember thinking specifically that the stupid thing better work.

Yeah, so back up: this is the new washer. Again, "new" in quotes. Angelica had some old front-loader since the dawn of time, and a month ago it crapped out--I came home to a small lake. Long story short: getting it fixed cost way more than I could justify, so the kid and I trolled Craigslist for a replacement and found this one cheap. Gabe helped us muscle it in, and I finally hooked it up today, since the laundry piles were getting embarrassing.

First load was done. It has an awful buzzer that sounds like a halfway point between a gameshow buzzer and a dying Jetta. But there wasn't a lake, so I figured it was a win. Until I opened the lid.

Not too proud to admit I screamed like a final girl in a horror movie. You would too. The first thing I saw was a thick pool of blood with most of what was left of some kind of animal swirling among socks and who-knows-what. I'm really hoping it wasn't someone's pet. The scream was part of the package where I dropped the lid and jumped back against the wall.

Steeled my nerves, reached for the lid, and opened it. That's the joy of being a homeowner, you get to do all the cleanup yourself. But you guessed it: nothing. Just a bunch of Jet's clothing, clean and nicely spun, ready for the dryer.

So this is my life. I don't know how long it'll take for this impression to fade from our "new" washing machine, but I'm pretty sure I know why we got it so cheap. It ate one of Jet's socks, too.

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